How Cyclonis Stole Christmas
by T. F. Crosby
Summary: The title says it all. Some people are more whackedout than others.


I had to do something for Christmas, so here it is.

For my nephew, who gave me the idea for the Christmas Crystal.

And for Nakedmolerat05 who always reads and reviews my stuff. I'll get right to work on that other story now that this is done.

A quick note:

_(this is Dark Ace's personal commentary)_

**-xxx-**

**How Cyclonis Stole Christmas**

Most of the people in Atmos liked Christmas a lot.

But Cyclonis, who lived on Cyclonia

Did NOT!

Cyclonis _hated_ Christmas! The _whole_ Christmas season!

Now, please don't ask why, not even Dark Ace knows the reason.

_(I like Christmas. Although some people might argue that.)_

It could be her brain wasn't put in just right.

It could be, perhaps, her cloak was too tight.

But I think the most likely reason of all

Was that Cyclonis' heart was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, her heart or her brain

She stood in her citadel on Christmas Eve, wishing them pain.

She growled and she grumbled and also threw rocks

_(Where did she get those?)_

Because she knew what she wanted was with those lousy Storm Hawks.

"What exactly do you want?" Dark Ace asked in a voice rather dull.

"What do I want?!" she seethed. "You idiot! I want the Christmas Crystal!"

"The Christmas Crystal?" he queried. _She's definitely lost her mind._

Then he grimaced, knowing what she was like when there was something she wanted to find.

"I must get that crystal!" she said. "I must get it now!"

She stared Dark Ace in the eyes saying, "But how?"

Then she got an idea!

_An awful idea!_

CYCLONIS GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do," Cyclonis laughed in her throat.

"I'll make a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat."

She chuckled and clucked. "What a great Cyclonian trick!

"With this hat and this coat I'll look just like St. Nick!

"All I need is a reindeer." Cyclonis looked around,

But since reindeer are scarce there were none to be found.

But did that stop Cyclonis…?

NO! Cyclonis simply said

"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead."

So she screamed for Dark Ace and made him wear a reindeer suit and a fake nose so red.

_(This is humiliating.)_

She dragged him out to where his sky-ride sat.

And she hitched a small sleigh onto its back.

_(You've got to be kidding.)_

He stared and he said, "Do you even know where the Storm Hawks are at?"

"Yes! Now get moving Rudolph!" she yelled as she jumped in the sleigh.

"This is ridiculous," he mumbled, knowing nothing else to say.

The terra was dark and the Condor was, too.

Cyclonis cackled maniacally as closer they drew.

As soon as they landed she jumped out of the sleigh

And ran for the Condor, carrying hay.

_(Don't ask. I don't know.)_

Dark Ace sat on his sky-ride watching her go.

Then he heard a loud squawk, like the sound of a crow.

(_Okay, what does that have to do with anything?)_

She crept through the Condor, setting off no traps.

Though she nearly knocked over a case full of maps.

She snuck down the corridor towards Piper's room,

Cackling in her head as she thought of Christmas' doom.

The door opened quietly and she slithered inside.

Her eyes swept the room and she said, "Now where did she hide…?"

Then she saw the crystal lying in a crate shaped like a cone.

"My precious," she cooed as she cuddled the stone.

_(Now that's just disturbing.)_

She crept out of the room, quiet as a mouse

Laughing to herself, "What a louse."

Then smiling a smile, most unpleasant

She decided to take all of their presents.

Outside in the moonlight, Dark Ace sat with book and with light

Reading up on this Christmas Crystal knowing something just wasn't right.

"I know something's wrong," he said, scratching his head.

Then he looked at the last paragraph and his eyes filled with dread.

_(Oh, boy. This is bad.)_

Cyclonis scampered on out, presents in tow

Threw them onto the sleigh and said, "Okay, Rudolph. Let's go!"

"You stole all their presents?" he said, rather appalled.

_(I may be the Dark Ace, but even I gotta draw the line somewhere.)_

"Just go, you stupid reindeer," she replied with a drawl.

She gleefully skipped into her throne room, crystal in hand,

Laughing and singing, for Christmas she had banned.

Dark Ace strode in behind her, carrying presents in a sack.

"Master Cyclonis, you really shouldn't play with that," he said, turning his back.

"Shut up!" she hissed. "I'm the master!"

Dark Ace shuddered at the impending disaster.

The crystal began to glow and the reindeer's face dropped.

_(Don't call me that.)_

His eye started twitching as the crystal sputtered and popped.

Then like a gazelle with the presents he flew.

There was no way he was sticking around when that crystal blew!

For it was no "Christmas Crystal" that Cyclonis possessed.

But an exterminator crystal, to get rid of unwanted pests!

In the safety of his quarters, Dark Ace hid with the presents.

A few hours later he heard a boom, then a scream.

He fled out of the citadel, presents in sack

Praying all of it was only a dream.

Cyclonis stood in her throne room kicking rocks.

Foiled once again, by those annoying Storm Hawks!

_(Don't tell her, but it was actually me who did the foiling this time.)_

A few unnamed Talons roamed around, cleaning the mess

That did, in fact, get rid of some unwanted pests.

She continued to grumble and what happened then…"

_(Don't ask me. I'm staying far away from her for a while.)_

Well, in Cyclonia they say

That Cyclonis' small heart, just stayed that way.

_(What were you expecting? (cough) No Christmas miracles here. I gotta return these presents.)_

Piper woke early, noticing something was missing.

"The crystal is gone!" she cried. "Oh, no."

Aerrow rushed in asking, "What's wrong?"

"Forget the crystal," said Finn. "Where'd all our presents go?"

Then from outside came the sound of a skimmer

The Storm Hawks ran out to see who was near.

Dark Ace walked towards them, sack in hand.

"Ha! Ha!" laughed Finn. "Dark Ace is dressed like a reindeer!"

Dark Ace smacked him upside the head, giving back their presents.

They stared at him. "You don't wanna know," he said with a smile most pleasant.

Then he turned back to his sky-ride and left the Storm Hawks.

"Well that was weird," said Aerrow, holding a box.

Then they heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,…

_(I ain't exclaiming anything. I think I'll go to Blizzaris or something.)_

_**MERRY CHRISTMAS!**_

**-xxx-**

I've said this numerous times. Sometimes I just can't help myself.


End file.
